What a 93-year-old Roman woman teaches us about living a long, good life (and why longevity has less to do with biohacking and more to do with coffee in the piazza)

I had just crossed the street when the heavy gate of an old Roman building opened. Behind it stood an elderly lady, beautifully dressed, wearing a touch of makeup and a friendly smile. Her name is Marcella, she is 93 years old and has lived in the same neighborhood since she was born. She told me all this openly while I held the gate open for her so she could get out more easily with her walker. She didn't have much time to chat—she was on her way to the piazza for her daily coffee with her friends. They do this every morning. They always have. A few hours later, I met Marcella again—this time at the alimentari, the small grocery store on the corner. Everyone greeted her, she knew everyone, and she looked like she was living life to the fullest. They talked about health, about food (a central Italian topic), and laughed together. It wasn't mere curiosity—it was genuine connection. Afterwards, I learned that Marcella's mother had died at the age of 102.

This brief encounter on a mild December day in Rome sums up scientific findings that researchers have gathered over decades: what really matters for a long, happy life.

Why your social relationships are more important than your biohacking program

When we think about health and longevity, terms such as genetics, nutrition, exercise, or meditation often come to mind. All of these play a role. But the strongest predictors of a long, fulfilling life are something completely ordinary: relationships.

This is shown by one of the most influential studies in social research*: this meta-analysis of 148 prospective studies with over 308,000 participants* found that people with strong social relationships have about a 50% higher chance of survival compared to people with weak social ties. And this applies regardless of age, gender, health status, or cause of death.

Another major piece of research is the Harvard Study of Adult Development**—one of the longest longitudinal studies ever conducted. It has been running since 1938 and tracks lives over decades. It shows the same thing time and time again:

People with close, stable social relationships live longer and happier lives—more so than any other factors such as money, success, or education.

What effect does social closeness actually have on us?

Why does it work? Researchers see several mechanisms at play:

Stress is regulated

Interpersonal closeness reduces stress hormones such as cortisol and increases neurotransmitters such as oxytocin, which promote bonding and security. This has a positive effect on the immune system and blood pressure and reduces the risk of cardiovascular disease.

Isolation is more deadly than we think

Studies show that social isolation can exceed the risk factor of social contact in its effect on mortality—similar to smoking or lack of exercise.

Routines and expectations give the brain structure

A daily coffee with friends—as Marcella does—is more than a ritual. What Marcella does is known in research as a “meaningful daily social ritual.” It creates predictability, meaning, and reliability in everyday life. These routines protect cognitive functions and well-being.

Marcella lives in a classic Blue Zone*** microclimate

The so-called Blue Zones (Sardinia, Okinawa, Ikaria, Nicoya, Loma Linda) were identified by Dan Buettner and demographers because an above-average number of people there live to be 90+ or 100+ in good health. The key insight from this is that longevity is not an individual project—it is an ecological product. Marcella lives in just such a micro-ecology:

• walkable neighborhood

• daily social rituals

• low financial barriers

• cultural normality of age

Blue Zone studies show that these factors have a stronger effect than diet or exercise programs.

Climate and architecture are silent health factors

Rome's neighborhoods meet several age-related conditions. Marcellas' life in a lively neighborhood, with affordable meeting places and collective habits, is no coincidence—it is one of these salutogenic patterns.

In Northern Europe or North America, elderly people often sit alone in their apartments. In Southern Europe, they sit in public. This is a huge difference for:

• Risk of dementia

• Depression

• Mobility

• Risk of falling

  
  

Why makeup and jewelry are not luxuries, but medicine

This is about self-presentation. Studies in gerontology show that people who continue to take care of themselves and “make an appearance” in old age have:

• fewer depressive symptoms

• better posture

• more social interactions

• higher life satisfaction

The mechanism: Those who show themselves are reflected. Those who are reflected feel real

Isolation destroys identity. Marcella protects her identity every morning in front of the mirror.

Genes help—but environment is paramount

The fact that Marcellas' mother lived to be 102 fits with what we know: genetics accounts for about 20–30% of longevity. The remaining 70–80% comes from:

• social structure

• exercise

• stress levels

• purpose

• nutrition

• sleep

So Marcella has the whole package!

What Marcella showed me on that mild December day can be summed up in one sentence:

A long life is not created by perfection, but by connection.

A café you look forward to visiting every day—usually drinking in the sun. Friends who wait for you and for whom you dress up. A neighborhood where people talk to each other.

Such everyday patterns are good for your health. And they have been proven to prolong life.

So perhaps the secret to a good life isn't found in the latest biohacking trend, but in the next coffee with someone you really like.

*Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review, 2010

** Good genes are nice but joy is better, harvard Gazette, 2017 

*** https://www.bluezones.com/